Misanthropy

Written Sunday, May 18, 2008

Misanthropy

I must admit, Austin got me thinking, and in a way I'm copying him, but hey him and I have very different views. For one, I do believe completely that there is a god. I will never accept that there isn't one. Simply enough if there wasn't a god then there would be no point to life, I can cannot accept that I am meaningless. Religion is a joke. It does have its uses, it keeps people in line, it keeps people moral, it gives people a reason to believe that they are more than nothing. Did i mention that it takes their money?

Chaos is something that has always caught my interest. In a chaotic situation I tend to work better, I can handle anything. In a calm situation, I can't handle anything. For example, when Tori broke up with me, we weren't fighting, we weren't mad at each other, we weren't thinking straight, and I freaked out. While at the same time, when Tori and I had a fight, things got worked out better, letting everything go tends to help.

People are to extreme when it comes to peace and violence. On one side you have the Hippi's who do drugs and cry out to give peace a chance, while on the other side you have those people who kill each other for no fucking reason. You can't have peace without war. You can't have war without peace. Its as simple as that.

When it comes to relationships no one is ever happy. No one is ever good enough for who they want to be good enough for. If your lucky enough to run into that someone that can stand you for who you are then you are a pretty lucky person. Sadly enough its not that simple. When anyone is happy, they always want something more, something they can't have, something they think will complete them even though it won't. I am a pure example of this, or I was an example of this. When I was younger (yeah I know how can you be in love so young) I used to always chase after this girl, that would never take me for me. I used to always try to live up to her standards and not mine. While at the same time this someone else was right in front of me with her arms wide open just waiting for me to realize what I really wanted. Then life happened, I got over chasing and i began to realize what I was missing with the second girl. Once I was willing, once I wanted her, she was done. People want what they can't have, and once they have it, they don't want it anymore.

Politics is a topic that I will not discuss, because for one, I do not know enough about them to even have a valid reason to be talking about them. I have been brainwashed to the point that I will disagree with the views of my parents because throughout my whole life they have always said their way is right, everything else is wrong.


mis·an·thro·py [mis-an-thruh-pee]
–noun
hatred, dislike, or distrust of humankind.


Hatred comes in many different forms, the worst has the be the hatred of yourself. Being part of something you never wanted to be a part of, being the person you said you would never be, having regret, and having to look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you hate who you are has to be one of the hardest things that everyone is going to have to face. The question has always been to whats right. Obsessing with this is why humankind will never work.

I hate myself, I hate who i am. I hate that I do things that I promised myself I would never do again. Having Tori made me realize something. I may not be who I want to be, I may not be perfect, but I'm me, and everything I do, everything I say defines who I am. So although I hate who I am, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm happy with myself because I'm not fake, I am just who I am. Accept me for who I am, because right now I only know of two people who have done that, me being included.

This blog has no point.