Unexpected

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Unexpected

Things in my life have happened that any person wouldn't want to have to deal with. Like everyone else I have my "sob" story, and like everyone else I think I have it off worse than anyone. I understand that throughout my entire life I have been given opportunities that many people have never gotten, and I understand that I have had an "easy" life compared to most people in this country, and to nearly everyone in the whole world. I get it and I'm thankful, I don't want to just bitch and moan about another one of my problems because no one wants to hear about it. That being said I do want to talk about something that has overtaken my life completely, although I'm not going to mention what this is because I'm not ready to do that. To make this easier I'm going to refer to this as the "event". Well anyways recently this event happened and it has barely even begun, but it has already changed me for the better. It has made me blunt with people who are hard to be blunt with, and it has made me be caring with people that I once was only blunt to. This event has completely changed the way I look at things now, and although this event is something that most people don't want to go through at my age, I'm actually excited about it. All my life I've been a screw up, and well this event proves that even more. At the same time though I can use this event to prove to myself that my life has meaning and I'm not just your run of the mill screw up. On a side note, I have always had trouble with religion, and I've always been forced to attend church and I have honestly never believed in God because of what he has let happen to me (yeah i know its my sob story shit but its the truth), but tonight I attended a chapel service out of my own free will. My girlfriend did ask me to go but she gave me the choice and she wasn't going to pressure me either way. The service was ok, the singing was alright(the band wasn't great) and the message didn't fully apply to me. It didn't "touch" me in any way and it didn't make me super religious. It did do two things to me, first off it made me ask my girlfriend(a girl that I am 99% sure is the one) to confess something to me that was different(different as in, something that I wouldn't expect, good or bad). Tori and I have a very strong relationship and we tell each other everything so I know more about her than she does and there isn't much she can really confess to me, but for some reason I felt the need to ask her this. She hasn't answered yet but we'll see where it leads. The second thing it did was made me realize that this event isn't a negative thing. From the outside view it looks horrible(thus why I'm not saying what it is), but I'm sure that there's more to it than I know, or anyone knows. I know in my heart that God has a plan for this, and for the first time in my life I am finally going to risk it and just see what happens and if there is a God I'm sure he will guide this in the right direction. My life right now is going really well. I have a job, girlfriend, car, home and friends. There isn't much more that I could ask for, well except that I could afford to live completely on my own(but hey in a few years I'll be at that point). I'm happy, and for me to be happy it takes a lot. This event is a bump in the road that I'll get over and soon enough I'll be looking back at it and thinking "without that happening I wouldn't have what I have today" (Yes I just quoted my future self =])

Anyways the interesting stuff is done with but if you keep reading you can get a quick update on my life

Going to Citrus for 2 years and getting my AA (with transfer) in Liberal Arts.Then I'll be transferring to a four 4 where I'll get my Bachelor in either Psychology or whatever I change my mind to. After that I plan to go onto grad school and get my Masters, and if time allows I would like to get my PhD in whatever it is I decide to major in. I'm in a great relationship with my girlfriend. I do have a job but I'm looking for a new one because I want to start working for a company that would allow me to move up the ladder as much as possible. I miss my friends, don't miss High School. Meeting new people everyday and I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see whats in store for me. OH!! I'm going to see I Am Ghost and I need someone to go with me. Its October 12th @ the Glass house, tickets are $10. Let me know if you want to go and I'll drive.